Sorry Won’t Leave

Let us go back to when you were very small and innocent. Do you see yourself at a time when you did not know any better? Do you see yourself saying something or doing something you should not have done? Later on, your mind starts understanding the depth of your mistake of words or actions. You realize what you said or did cannot be undone. You cannot travel back in time and erase it or do it differently.

Now, you have a video in your head of that terrible thing you said or did with the thought of no matter how much you apologize the “Sorry Won’t Leave“. All your tears, anger, and frustration could not make it stop existing in that person or persons mind. You don’t have to see them to remember or when you do see them the “Sorry Won’t Leave” your mind and heart.

Let us go forward to our teen years and begin to remember the now list of things we said and did. Some things we said or did are still on the side of ignorance and some on the side of lashing out. You can be sixteen, eighteen, or any other teen year you choose. At this point in time how long is the list of memories for the things you have said or done and possibly the things that were done to you that the “Sorry Won’t Leave“?

For most of us the “I’m sorry I ever met you“, “I never should have said that“, “I can’t believe they said that about me“, “why did this happen to me“, “I was so stupid to believe them“, “I was so angry and I acted no better than them“, “I took out my frustration on someone who did not deserve it“, “why did I do that“, and there are a ton more of questions we would ask by the age of our teenage years.

The teenage years and twenties were a time of an emotional roller coaster ride. A long list of ups and downs with some more downs than ups. The “Sorry Won’t Leave” you thoughts and feelings growing seemingly by the day. You almost feel a dark ominous cloud hovering over you and it carries multiple of things pushing you down and it won’t leave you alone with you always looking for a way of escape.

Now, going forward to adult years the search for relief has been going on for some time and the impatience of a solution sets in with a hurry and be done with the nagging of your conscience. You sought relief in making friends, the parties, the good times at the lakes, relationship to relationship, getting drunk or high, and the “Sorry Won’t Leave” you alone. It is always there waiting on you to wake up. Sometimes, you think you don’t want to ever wake up.

In your adult years you realize your choices have a higher cost than when you were at home growing up. You jumped into a marriage that you thought would help you only to find out because of your blindness you ended up with another heavy weight of the “Sorry Won’t Leave” you category. You looked for a career to complete you and chase away the things you want to forget.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF SORRY

“Sorry” can be from something wrong, pure accidents, and/or from bad choices. You can be sorry in a good situation that others benefit, but a bad situation for yourself. You can be sorry for things you have done and cannot change. You can be sorry for an accident you had no control over from happening, but others may not know that. The “Sorry Won’t Leave” because it has centered itself upon you.

The bad situation “sorry” that won’t leave because of what you have done or said. The good situation “sorry” could be something you have started with others benefiting from it while you wish you were free to do other things in life. It is good for them, but bad for you. This is a commitment “sorry” with a feeling of obligation on you to fulfill your duties until it or you ends.

GOD THING

Our wrong doings and sins is for God because people’s judgments do not have an absolute clarity and wisdom to the situation. You have heard there are two sides to a story, but there are actually many sides that include visible and invisible interference. The bad and wrong “sorry” deeds can be forgiven by the power of God’s blood through Jesus Christ with the born again experience found in Acts 2:38 fulfilling Jn. 3. There is nothing more powerful than God’s blood of forgiveness and redeeming Spirit.

There is no question to the price Jesus paid for your complete forgiveness. God knows and wants to save you. He knows what He is giving you as total package to the saving of your soul and the abundant life He wants you to have and live. What has to be worked out is sorting out our memories and feelings of the past that we remember and that God forgot under the blood of Jesus.

The “Sorry Won’t Leave” is our own heart condemning us. Our heart will constantly focus and dwell upon things causing the “Sorry Won’t Leave” me feeling. Having God in your life, the fight is no longer a matter of a clean forgiven slate with God, but a fight of the knowledge of evil and good mixed in your head and heart. The struggle is releasing it totality with all the sorrow you have caused and what was done to you into God’s hands.

You, yourself, are hanging onto with an agreement with your heart to condemn yourself for things you cannot change in the past, but must live with in the present and future even though the Almighty God has forgiven you. Other people who you have hurt maybe also hanging onto what happened, but you cannot speak for them. It is a God thing for them and you. You must separate yourself what is God’s department and what is yours.

When you are getting yourself right inside later on with time you can help others, but it is still their choice and not yours. You cannot make the “Sorry Won’t Leave” inside of them, but you can change yourself through God. The battle inside yourself is more than enough to try handle. Don’t try to do what is God’s job in others.

Facing your own heart of condemnation is a conditioning you must practice everyday because when your heart condemns you God is greater than your heart and He knows all about it (1 Jn. 3:20). As soon as you are a born again child of God according to Acts 2:38 your daily path should be fellowship with God, His Word, and working out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12) against your past, “Sorry Won’t Leave“, and living by the knowledge of good from now on. It is an examining process of yourself

Sorry Won’t Leave” until you surrender to God daily submitting all those things into His hands. He wants you to cast all your cares upon Him because He knows all about it and still cares for you (1 Peter 5:6). Being totally honest with yourself and with God shines such a powerful light of truth examining yourself to the point of proving to your own self that your faith in God is true and solid. This gives you the power from God to fight against the condemning of your heart with clear understanding that nothing can be done against the truth, but only to be turned around for the truth. When we are weak in this battle He is using His strength to make us strong (2 Cor. 13:5, 8, 9).

LIVING WITH MISTAKES – A PEOPLE THING

The “Sorry Won’t Leave” also comes from the accidental and the good for others. The hard core truth is people are not God. Even the Christians are not God. They are a work in progress to be Christ like, but have not achieved complete transformation. At this point I would advise you to never lift up a human being to the level of God because they will let you down in this life. We all have the flesh factor of failure and imperfection. The greatest of efforts in our flesh can still fall short of the glory of God. Let nothing get between you and God – nothing.

You will have more peace and wisdom accepting we are all fallible and incomplete with the totality of God’s Spirit and understanding of His word. Jesus is the only one who God put His concentrated fullness of His Spirit in flesh. It is common sense to see all of us are working out the changes in our lives to be more like Him and trying to overcome the “Sorry Won’t Leave“.

The accidental “Sorry Won’t Leave” you is definitely in the category of something out of your control. You can lay on the altar before God and the person in which the accident occurred with your whole hearted regret and repentance with no doubt God sees you clearly and forgives you, but people cannot see clearly. You must give it to God releasing it from yourself and have patience with people understanding it will take time for them to see, but you must keep going forward with God praying for others to follow.

LIVING WITH MISTAKES – A GOOD FOR THEM

There is a type of “Sorry Won’t Leave” you because you have made a commitment to something you thought was good for you only to find out it was a big mistake. You are living with a regret and a sorry that it happened, but you are in a situation that if you were to leave it would do more damage than if you stayed. You have stayed sacrificing your wants and desires.

You have trapped yourself with a decision you first thought was good and the discovery of the truth later has caused the “Sorry Won’t Leave” factor. This could be from starting a business with a partner or later taking on a full partner with the company prospering. The partner you thought would be great asset could have hidden some things from you that you don’t agree with, but it is to late placing a burden of a “Sorry Won’t Leave” upon yourself.

You are committed to the employees welfare and the companies reputation to the point you must stay and carry the sorriness in your heart for the shortcomings of your partner. This is where it is good for them, but not good for you.

There are marriages all over the world similar to the business partner and the hiding of the emotion “Sorry Won’t Leave” in your face. You married someone you thought was a good decision only to find out their true character later. You are sorry for your decision and lack of seeing through them, but it would be worse to leave them than to stay. It could be if you left them it would crush them, their parents, and their siblings totally based upon your actions.

You go to work, home, or possibly both with the “Sorry Won’t Leave” you continually hanging over your head. Your everyday is filled with complying with things to maintain the atmosphere of what is good for them and those around them sacrificing what is good for you. This kind of sorrow does not always have a good answer or outlet. In these situations divorce is not a good answer and death is not a good answer.

If you are living in this situation whether it is with a Christian or of some status, you are living in a deep spiritual trial of your character. To survive the sorrow that won’t leave in this marriage is not for people who can only drink milk like babies (1 Cor. 3:2), but for someone who is strong enough to eat the meat of wisdom and perseverance. Don’t listen to the advice from someone who has a milk level relationship, but find someone who has the meat level of marital experience.

God will give you strength as long as you keep trusting Him to protect you and He will deliver you in the end. You have to keep looking everyday for things to be happy about in spite of what comes your way. Look for things to rejoice about because God is making you stronger during this blink of an eye time on earth from the grief of your various trials. Your trials are proving your genuineness of love and trust in God, which He counts more valuable than perishable gold causing you to be in a place worthy of His praise, glory, and honor just like Jesus did while walking the earth. Persevering by His strength in the end will bring your deliverance in God (1 Peter 1:5-9). You can do all things through Christ which strengthens you (Phil. 4:13).

YOU CAN DO IT

Sorry Won’t Leave” leave me alone is something you can overcome. You can do it, but don’t do it alone. Allow God to be your partner inside your body fighting against your regrets and sorrows together. He will never leave you, nor forsake you. Once you experience being born again of the water and spirit like they did in the book of Acts 2:4, 38 you will never be the same. The “Sorry” inside you will have to leave you alone. You may always remember, but standing by your side looking at the view of what you are sorry about is God Himself supporting you during this troublesome time.

My prayers go out to you who no one sees your suffering except God. May you and God walk together forever.

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