Fighting Myself

Have you ever found yourself wondering “why did I say that“, “why did I do that“, or “what was I thinking“? It is a moment when you realize there is something else going on here. You say to yourself, “I would normally never say or do that“. It is a frozen moment of time in your mind processing “what just happened“?

I don’t know if you have had this experience with getting angry or not. It could be from some other emotion you have experienced. For many years I would easily get angry saying and doing things I would later regret. One day a person did something and my anger immediately reacted and for some reason in the middle of my anger a thought came to me “why are you so angry“, “it was accident“, “you can see in their face they did not mean to do it” and I found myself releasing them from my grip.

For the first time I began to examine and search out the anger within myself. The first truth of myself was my temper and anger were like another person that takes over. It was like a furious person lashing out for a satisfaction without true clear thinking being involved. This started me on the path to watching this anger takeover within my system.

I had now started on a journey of thinking if my anger tries to take me over could there be some other things hidden underneath my own nose. The discovery of asking questions opened the unseen world within me and the unseen world around me. Seeing and understanding how to fight yourself is crucial to finding balance in your life.

Later on in life I found a friend who could help me in “fighting myself“. I had previously tried different kinds of relationships, which actually helped developing the anger issue inside of me. My new found friend whispered into my thoughts “that I had tried everything else why not try me“.

I wanted to know what other battles were inside myself and to see the truth of the world. I was tired of the lies, deceptions, hypocrisy, and no truthfulness anywhere. So, I told God I would give Him a chance and His Bible. Mind you, I had been in the public school system, raised in a church, and transferred to a religious school. The list of wrong things I saw and happened to me where in all three systems. My giving God a chance was between Him and me ONLY (key words).

This is how our relationship began on the basis I want to know. I no longer wanted to be deceived by mankind or anything else. Now, that God and His Word were on a trial basis of friendship. I began to look up things in His Word on what He had to say in His opinion and look what I found…

Romans 7:17 “I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me“.

This connected so well with the anger I had as though it was another person in me that took over in certain situations. So, it was the good trying to tell me “it was absolutely an accident” and the evil was enjoying the grip I had on the person to inflict pain. It reminded me when God said to Cain, “…Why are you angry (Why art thou wroth, KJV)…” Ge. 4:6, which Cain’s anger led to the murder of his brother. The “Fighting Myself” battle within Cain did not hear the good, but only listened to the evil.

Romans 7:18 “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

Ah, I see. My flesh has its own agenda. The “Fighting Myself” comes from a mind that can think and a body that only acts. Two laws inside one person warring against each other. One law of good and the other law of evil battling it out. Within you and me the choices of doing good or doing evil is a fight between the voice of good (spirit) and the voice of evil (flesh/body).

It started to make sense and explain some things not only in the present, but also things in the past. This also showed me we are all from a higher creation than other creatures. We have inside of us a spirit that is meant to be higher than our fleshly bodies. Your eternal spirit is to be more than the short and temporary lifespan of your flesh.

Now, I wanted to know “What is good?” “What is evil?” I see I have my spirit on the inside of my body. These two do not get along. My flesh will never be a Christian or a friend to God. My spirit may want to pray (talk with God), but my flesh wants to sleep. The “Fighting Myself” comes from my flesh wanting to do things its own way without thinking of consequences and my spirit wants to understand the truth before the actions. Romans 7:23 “But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity (prisoner) to the law of sin which is in my members.

The first thing I wanted to know what does my flesh want to do in this life. Did God have a list of things my body could potentially want to do? I did a search and found in Galatians 5 starting with verse :19…sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery ‘(crazy partying and wild nights)’; :20 “idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions” :21 “and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (NIV)

I don’t know about you, but as I was reading the list of things my flesh would like to do, if it were totally in control, I was saying in my thoughts: yes, yes, yes…no, no…yes, oh yes,…no. Then my eyes came across the last words “…those who live like this will NOT inherit the kingdom of God“. Ah, the “Fighting Myself” and who wins has consequences because God has set His deciding factors in place.

God revealed to me in His Word that I have good and evil inside of me. The fight and struggle is based upon the choice of who wins. As I have found out with this daily walk with my new friend – God/Jesus is I am always being reminded I am NOT alone.

Now, that I have discovered what “Fighting Myself” means it helps me to know when the fight begins who is wanting what in the situation because I have a list to go by. I have not forgotten “What is the good“? In the same book of Galatians and in the same chapter five in next verses says, :22…love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,” :23 “gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” This is the list for the good.

Again, did you find yourself going through the list thinking: “sort of, a little bit, kind of, not really, working on it, trying…” as you read through the list? So, the conclusion of the “Fighting Myself” could end with not inheriting heaven or being of such integrity you would need no law to govern you. This “Fighting Myself” has some pretty high stakes and goals involved for my soul.

Romans 7:23 “…But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind…”, :25… So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

This is a great understanding of the battles we face in fighting within our own self. Here is a much more understanding and the greatest comfort to all the things we will face in this life. As we have the battle of good and evil inside of us deciding which side will win. We are becoming more like our Father than we consciously realize.

God, also has good and evil inside of Himself. What? God is only good and nothing else! There is no evil inside of God! Are you crazy! Think about it, God is an All Present God, everywhere at once at the same time, which we call Omnipresent. All of creation is inside of God, right? This means inside of God’s All Presences is good and evil. The greater understanding is God, like us, made a choice of who He wants to win – good, which for Him is a final decision.

God had no struggle with evil. God is the ONLY ONE and is still the ONLY ONE who can separate, contain, and control evil. We see His choice between the two inside of Himself. All angels and creations in heaven before us were made totally from the good – His choice. He created all of us with the same choice of good. When Lucifer and a third of the angels wanted to mix the good inside themselves with evil the result was evil won the war of “Fighting Myself” and took them over completely. They did not have the ability to separate, contain, and control the knowledge of evil. ONLY God has that ability.

What did God do with this change of evil creatures in His heaven He created? He kicked them out separating, containing, and controlling their now evil state into another location within Himself. You will see a pattern of what God does with evil within Himself. There is always a separating, containing, and controlling evil within God. He does not want evil to be active in the focused area He has designated for the good.

So, here is the picture: all creations were absolutely good in a designated area while God kept evil separate, contained, and under control within Himself (His Choice), but under the freedom of choice evil was accessible.

Note: Okay, you do understand a creation without the ability of choice there is only existence. A rock by the creek exist for its purpose, but no choice. How much fellowship would you get from a rock? Angels were beautiful interactive creatures God enjoyed their fellowship because He wanted them to exist (Is. 55:11), but they were free to choose within themselves.

The angels can NOT separate, contain, and control evil. They are not powerful enough, knowledgeable enough, or have the presences enough to separate, contain, and control evil. Only God has that ability. Now, heaven has the good angels in a designated area and God separated, contained, and controlled the fallen angels of evil in another designated area.

Good angels have no fight within themselves with evil. Evil angels have no fight within themselves with good because neither one of them have the mixture of the two within them like God. Evil inside God is not warring against God because God finalized his choice – good wins. God gave the angels His choice in their creation, but they decided their choice inside themselves.

Are you slowly seeing why we, God’s children, are special? Angels do not have the two laws of good and evil warring inside of them like we do. God does not fight the good and the evil within Himself because His choice of the two is finalized. We, mankind, are the only ones remaining with the daily battles of “Fighting Myself“choices.

Adam and Eve, the children of God, the human race of mankind could not separate, contain, and control like God the knowledge of evil. It took them over just like it did the angels who made that choice. God did NOT release evil. The choice of Satan and Adam/Eve released evil upon themselves and those under their authority. All evil in this world was released to freely inflict it’s list of pain, sorrows, and tortures by Adam and Eve’s choice, NOT God’s choice.

God is still God of His choice of good and we, His children, when we sinned were put in separation, containment, and in the control with the affects of death, hell, and the grave inside of it (this world) because that is what evil brings. God inserted inside the birth seeds of mankind a promise seed to be born inside the evil world purely good as the lamb of God to pay for the sins of mankind.

This is where the angels long to understand how can these things be (1 Peter 1:12). Adam and Eve should not be able to return from evil. There should be no battle, no choice, no “Fighting Myself“. We, mankind, were made in His image and likeness. We can be like Him, but Adam and Eve could not do it without God inside of them showing how to handle separating, containing, and controlling evil.

The birth of Jesus was God in the flesh encapsulated with pure, holy, and divine blood walking among us with our daily struggles. God again separated, contained, and controlled Himself from evil by being inside the body and the blood of Jesus Christ. God answered the devil in the desert through Jesus on how to separate, contain, and control the temptations of the flesh. God fulfilled all requirements for the redemption (separation, containing, and controlling sin) for His children through Jesus Christ the Lamb of God.

This is why it is crucial for us to win against this battle of “Fighting Myself” with the knowledge, Power, and Presence of God because with Him we have the ability to be like Him separating, containing, and controlling evil by Jesus Christ.

For us to win the war of “Fighting Myself” with the flesh law and spirit law we must be born again. The born again of the water and of the spirit (Jn 3:5) Jesus told us about is the Paying of our debt factor (applying the blood of Jesus washing away sins), the Empowering factor (infilling of the Holy Ghost), and the Knowledge factor (guiding us into all truth, Jn 16:13).

THE BORN AGAIN QUESTION: :37…Men and brethren, what shall we do?” :38Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.” Acts 2:37, 38

These three things gives us the Presence of forgiveness of sins through water baptism in Jesus name applying the blood that is in his name (Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Acts 4:12); Powering us with the birth of the Holy Ghost that has not changed (Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. Heb. 13:8) from the days of the Apostles (Acts 2:4, 39); and the Knowledge of truth (Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth… Jn. 16:3) on how to separate, contain, and control the knowledge of evil we face on a daily basis here on earth becoming more like our Father in heaven.


We are His children, born again, learning every day about evil with the same choice to separate, contain, and control by the power of God our Father “…because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” 1 John 4:4.

While living in this world we step by step make decisions to separate, contain, and control through Jesus Christ the evil we encounter in this world slowly becoming like God our Father knowing how to handle evil that no other creature knows how to handle except God and His born again children.

We still have our flesh to contend with and the world around us. We cannot finalize because the struggles of this life is still teaching us something new everyday on the reason why we should separate, contain, and control evil within ourselves.

:17I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me“. :18For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.:23…But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind…”, :25… So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” Romans 7:17, 18, 23, 25

Make God and His Word your best friend believing in Him only asking all the right questions.

YOU CAN “…do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Phil. 4:13

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.