Thoughts – Past the Surface

All Kinds of Fish

A man had a dream or a vision of a crystal clear water and as he gaze down into the water he began to notice not just one kind of fish swimming around, but many other kinds of fishes were gathered together in that one place of the crystal clear water. It was a beauty of anointed harmony to behold of the oneness with so many diverse fishes in one place.

The man felt the anointed interpretation of what he was seeing was people from all walks of life gathering together in one place to worship the Lord freely without the traditional judgments of man. The different kinds of people from different kinds of religious backgrounds were the various kinds of fishes in the crystal clear water.

The man was moved so strongly he sought out for a place to be that one crystal clear water for all to gather together swimming freely. This was to be a place of freedom that he saw in the fish flowing within the water. It was to be a place all people could gather together and flow with God freely.

The man sought out the theme that would present the atmosphere of freedom for all the different kinds of fish to swim together freely. He brought in studies of Jewish dances, worshiping methods, holidays, festivals, and all other things that the chosen people of God did in the Old Testament. He brought in modern teachings of symbols, letters, and numbers from the languages used in the Bible. He faithfully saturated the atmosphere with songs he felt lead to play. He brought in teachers from far and wide. Many more things this man has done to create this crystal clear water for all to gather together to swim in freely like as the dream and vision that was shown unto him.

As with all places that gather together to experience God freely there are challenges. The different kinds of fishes have different kinds of personalities, methods of thinking, and mannerisms. People have the same differences that can struggle to the joining with others in a oneness fashion. Opinions, levels of intelligence, and pride in people often raise walls in the attempt of bringing unity in a one crystal clear water of worship. The man with the vision burning brightly in his mind desires so much so all would become one ,flowing freely in the worship of God like as the beautiful various kinds of fish gliding effortlessly in the crystal clear water.

The giving and sacrifice of this man for this beautiful vision/dream to come true has a taxing weight upon his soul of all the different people who come to him with their enticing words, hidden intents of their hearts, and internal sadness. He feels sometimes he is barely keeping his face above water to breathe with what the world has sent his way.

As I was going over the vision/dream the man had, I saw the parallel of the place to come together with the crystal clear water. I saw the different people from different religious and non-religious backgrounds representing the different kinds of fishes in the crystal clear water. At that moment God inserted into my thoughts that it is NOT about the different kinds people (fishes), but it is about the water.

I felt my mind freeze gazing upon the vision seeing the different fishes swimming, but it was the water that was the most important. The water is not many different kinds of waters. It is ONE body of water. It is consistent and unchanging water. It is an undivided water in total Oneness for all the ‘whosoever wills‘ to swim freely.

If there were no water it would be a vision of different kinds of fishes flopping around desperately desiring water, doing anything and everything to make water to appear. It is all about the water. God’s Holy Spirit is the water for all to gather together in oneness in Him flowing freely in their worship.

There was a group of people gathered together in one place praying for the movement of God. As they were praying it was like a strong blowing wind came down from heaven through all the doors and windows filling the whole house. The house being filled completely with this wind from heaven could easily been seen as a place completely filled with a crystal clear water for all to swim. As they were sitting there looking around what seemed to be for an understanding of their minds were tongues/languages of fire that separated right before their eyes and came to rest upon each of them. This would be like the fish that wanted to swim in that crystal clear water being lowered into the water submerging itself freely flowing through the water with the water all around itself and inside of itself. As the tongues/languages of fire rested upon them they were filled with the Holy Spirit and how they knew they were filled with the Holy Spirit was when they began to speak their native learned tongue/language changed into another nationalities tongue/language as the Holy Spirit gave them the words(Acts 2:1-4).

This vision of crystal clear water is all about becoming one with God’s Spirit and not the fish for without the water there would be no oneness. “There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Eph. 4:4-6.

This water in the vision is the born again experience of water and spirit (Jn. 3:5). Like the fish are one with the water and the water one with the fish; so is it with us being born again in water baptism in the one name of Jesus and the in filling of the Holy Spirit with the sign/evidence to us of the tongue/language coming out of us at that moment is a language we have not learned praising God. The water is around the fish and in the fish like the Father is over all,through all and in all by Jesus Christ being that one container for all fish/people to live freely.

People gathering together without the liberty of God’s Spirit are like fish flopping around without water. They may look alive, but in truth are starving for the real water of life. The place and the fish are things man can do, but the water is decided by God’s spiritual desire out of the control of what man thinks or believes. I personally choose to surrender to God rather than fighting God with my own ideas. The place is physical and the fish are people, but the water is God. The focus should be on the oneness with God pleasing Him rather than man.

This beautiful vision or dream is all about the water of God clearly engulfing a surrendering group of people willing to set aside any personal opinions and traditions allowing their free-flowing worship to be in spirit and in truth (Jn. 4:23, 24). There are no words to describe when you get inside the flowing power of God’s loving Spirit.

May you feel the flowing down pour of His Spirit covering you from the top of your head to the sole of your feet.

Thank You

I want to take time to say a special “Thank You” to all of you from my heart for subscribing to my humble posts. I have no motive to hurt anyone, unless that hurt awakens you (Prov. 27:6) to something you did not know was there inside of you giving you a second chance to free yourself. If I can play a small part in your life in bringing you forgiveness, happiness, freedom, understandings, and truth I feel I would have led a fulfilled life.

God gives me things and I want to give them to you by His permission. I am absolutely no one special and deserves no praise. What I do have is what has been given to me from Him. I was in darkness living a self-centered life in this world before He came into my life. I was a victim to evil things and returned the evil things to others for revenge to my shame. When God came into my life He took away darkness and I could see the light all around. One day, one step, one thought, one prayer, one breath at a time He has helped me towards becoming one of His children (Ro. 8:14).

I am still on this journey exploring and discovering beautiful things He points out and I want to take you with me if you are willing to hang on. Some of the things He shares with me can be very deep for our different levels of thinking (Is. 55:8,9). I will do my best to present it to you in the way He allowed me to see it and hear it.

Again, “Thank You!” for allowing me the opportunity to share with you. May His Holy light shine upon your heart surrounding and warming it with His eternal love.

Before Marriage

Marriage is when a person wants to spend their life with another person as a one family unit side by side in this world. When two people want to buy matching shirts, pants, shorts, socks, shoes, hats…etc they are sending a visual message to everyone else that looks upon them that they are together as one. Rings on certain fingers is a visual message that they are married to one another. Marriage is a signed legal form or a formal recognition of a union of two people as partners in a joining relationship as one flesh.

People get married for many different reasons, but the original purpose of marriage was to take away loneliness. The daunting task is to find that one person who can be one flesh and one spirit (soul mate) without other blinding interferences.

God does not want loneliness to exist for anyone including Himself. God created a son in His own image and likeness. There was only one Adam on planet earth and God saw his loneliness. There was no mate for Adam in all the earth only animals with mates of their kind. God is a solutionist. God put Adam to sleep like a doctor would apply anesthesia controlling the pain, blood pressure, blood flow, and breathing taking a rib from inside Adam’s one and only body to form his mate for the purpose of taking away his loneliness. Two people from the same flesh as one.

Unfortunately, marriage is a hit or miss situation left in our hands. Our flesh sends the sensory inputs to our inside spirit of what we think is a reason to marry someone for the rest of our life. Your selfishness is meeting their selfishness deceiving you both unless there is one of you that has an awareness. The seems good is a form of “Love is Blind”, overriding the reality of each other’s truth. The key is those reasons are the same on both parties coming together creating a oneness of those reasons.

Majority of people allow the appearance of the other person to be their foundation of reasons to marry them. After marrying that body you wanted to be yours the rest of your life turns out to have a spiritual driver inside it that you did not see when dating. This is where the “Love is Blind” statement comes up. The “Love is Blind” is really a tunnel vision of a personal reason or reasons of your choice. You personally put blinders on conscientiously (knowingly) or unconsciously (unknowingly) the other facts about that person. There is a demonic selfishness that lies hidden underneath our skin continuously promoting the blindness of love. This is a very high risk rolling of the dice approach of a happy ever after marriage.

Some go out focused on a career or a place of occupation they want to reach as a goal in life. Along this path they meet different people. In this locked in frame of mind this person could be wanting the outward appearance to match what they think will help their career and the other could be looking for skills above the looks for their career. Conscientiously (knowingly) or unconsciously (unknowingly) that demonic selfishness hidden underneath the skin is blinding other possible red flags about a person you are considering as a life long partner because after marriage you come face to face of their spirit driver hidden underneath their skin. This is also a very high risk of the rolling of the dice of a happy ever after marriage.

Another group of people go out searching for looks and personality/intelligence. This is a closer approach to hitting the bull’s eye and less than rolling the dice, but still has hidden flaws for possible deception. It may be difficult to believe, but there are those who thought they were being careful weighing the looks and personality/intelligence in balance only to find out after marriage the fine tuned ability of the other spiritual driver of that body was as crafty as they were hiding the real truth about themselves. Hollywood does not have the best actors in the world. They live among the common people of every day life.

It does not matter what you are taking out there with you whether it is for appearances only, career boosting only, or the mix of appearance and personality the element of the demonic selfishness underneath the skin can still have its way with you leaving you to discover the true nature of the spirit driver inside that person you married. Almost everyone puts on their best behavior in dating no matter the length of time their reason is locked in to the end of getting you.

WHAT SHOULD I BEING DOING?

Take the time to list the different things from different people who you really like and do not grow tired of being around it. Obviously, whatever is your first priority start your listing there. If it is looks form your likes, but go onto a list of personalities and level of intelligence you like.

LIST EXAMPLES: LOOKS

Black Long Hair, 5’10” or taller, Slender/athletic body, high cheekbones, pleasant/cute/pretty/peaceful face, smooth/soft skin, compassionate/color eyes, beautiful smile, sweet/soft voice…etc The more specific you are the more you see yourself destroying that demonic selfishness hidden underneath your skin and the development of your true preference emerging.

PERSONALITY/INTELLIGENCE

Religion preference, positive/solution minded, perceptive, sensitive, close/equal intelligence, moderate conversationalist, high integrity, humble, respectful, reasonable, moderate romantic, modesty minded, organized, elegant outside, playful inside…etc This is pushing the point of being specific because it is important to have these things up front in your mind or your heart will be deceived by the demonic selfishness underneath your skin. The key words are “…will be…” in the previous sentence if you don’t self examine yourself before marriage. If you go on these dating sites they should push you to the preferences that matter to you and why not have them inside your head instead of trusting the web?

CAREER/LIFE GOALS

Average or above with computers, music abilities, moderate people person, mature advice, independently resourceful, team minded, always looking to improving things, moderate worker, explorer…etc These are generalizations to things that could be career/life goals supportive qualities. I know you can list more.

A quick note if the someone you have your eye upon is doing the function or ability you are looking for does not mean their heart, mind, and soul is into the physical action they are doing. The skill or talent you are observing and falling in love with has a spirit driver inside that flesh that can be in another world while they are physically doing the skill or talent you like. In marrying them you may have given them an outlet and they no longer care to keep doing the skill or talent you thought would help you achieve your goals. This is where that demonic selfishness can blind you from the reality of truth from them and yourself.

SELF QUESTIONS

The first thing is if your attraction (=looks, career, looks/personality) to someone goes past the eye contact into a date or dating the self examining of yourself should kick in with questions (this will save your life) and fight the star struck feeling. Self examination digs out and reveals that demonic selfishness hidden underneath your skin. Red flags of things you don’t like should be a set number of them that makes it a deal breaker. Why a certain number of red flags as a deal breaker is because no one is perfect. The human factor will always exist, but the level of their red flags should be a making yourself move on. The less red flags you can find the happier you will be and them.

If you don’t do this from the beginning marking the red flags that you don’t like as you go along the persuasions of the demonic selfishness starts the smooth soft talking voice of lying reasons just as bad as the devil did to Eve in the garden of Eden with the possible same after effects. And it is a “Yes” you can lose your life in a marriage, but not in the sense of death to your body which naturally occurs. You can lose your life in the sense of the dreams, the goals, and the residing potential inside yourself decaying away.

Question one that you go after digging for the real truth inside yourself is “Why am I so drawn to them?” In complete all honesty with yourself answer it. You will start to see what category you are in with yourself. Am I stronger in the looks of the person? Am I looking for a support to my career or life goals? Am I drawn to the their looks and personality/intelligence? After you have established what area are you drawn to them you can start pulling from all other areas scoring and dropping red flags.

DATING

Choosing a date like you would a mate is a tough standard, but it will keep you from the demonic selfishness underneath your skin and the one underneath their skin from doing something you’ll regret either later or the rest of your life. Now, this is where the demonic selfishness underneath your skin plays the card on you of loneliness, slaps down beside it the card of depression, and then stares at you with pressure to hurry up and make a move. Remember this is a demonic selfishness underneath your skin doing the lying. You are in control of what you can do in life and there is a whole world of people out there not limited to your language only.

What traps most people is the four wall vision. The place we live in is like a four walled boxed in place. Our schools are like a four walled boxed in place. Our jobs become like a four walled boxed in place. Our churches are like a four walled boxed in place. Our drives to school, church, and work becomes a four walled boxed in route. Our demonic selfishness underneath our skin has the four walled boxed in place blinders on our minds, hearts, and souls. We become brainwashed that where we are living is all that there is to choose from in this life, which is a lie.

You are in this town thinking with the four walled boxed in thoughts while over in another town, city, or country another person who could potentially match your soul mate list is thinking the same thing and not making a move to explore other areas. You need to travel, but not just one place. I mean really travel as far as within your means. If you think you are alone with the pressure you’ve got to find someone fast or it is the end of the world go on the internet and check out other towns, cities, and countries. It will blow your mind on all the people who are outside your four walled boxed in lies. Get out of your demonic selfishness underneath your skin comfort zone and go to places that interest you and meet different people. Knock down the four walled boxed in thinking and open your options to a vast world of choices.

You will find a ton of new friends who will connect you to others and through it all there will be someone who will light up your list with check marks with extremely low x’s. People no matter their language, their color, and their gender will have the same thing in them as you do. They will either be after a person for looks only, career/life goals only, or the mix of looks and personality/intelligence. They have the same demonic selfishness underneath their skin blinding them as you do no matter who, what, when, and where they are from. Flesh is flesh and spirit is spirit. We are all the same no matter what language we speak.

All the above dealt with your demonic selfishness underneath your skin and other people. One more very important clue to pass on while searching for your life partner of happiness – the parents.

PARENT/PARENTS/GUARDIAN

Genetically all will (KEY WORD = WILL) turn out like their parents and/or grandparents. You need to find out in the beginning as much as you can about the parents looks, careers, and personalities/intelligence. The one you are interested in no matter what category you are in (looks, career, personality/intelligence) they will have portions of their parents make-up. You need to keep going through your list and dropping flags where you need to drop them. I know this rough, but I am trying to save you a lifetime of suffering.

I don’t care how much you think you can change them or how they are not so like their parents you think, after marriage the hidden demonic selfishness underneath their skin will show themselves behind the closed doors of your home while the rest of the world thinks they are wonderful. The attitude of you will change them is kicking God out of His throne and you sitting in His chair to do His job. It is taking on the task of a square and forcing it to be round. In the end it will still be the majority square with only the corners chewed off with your teeth missing and the wrinkles of age upon you.

If one parent or both yells a great deal the one you are interested in will yell like them at one point or another. They have the ingredient to yell in them, but suppressing it while dating you. If one or the other has a bad temper drop a red flag. If you are a peaceful person this should be a deal breaker. If one or the other has a negative attitude drop a red flag. If you are a positive person this should be a deal breaker. Try to find out how far does it go back into their family of having these traits. Does it go from them to their parent and onto the grandparent? If it does you are dealing with an inherited trait that only God can fix if they are willing to let Him fix it, but you can’t you are not God (don’t marry them). You are dealing with things that are known or unknown. You may see the traits, but the person you are interested may not see them under their own nose. You are not God and you cannot force out of them those traits. God does not force any of us to be perfect, but allows us the freedom of choice for His assistance. They must see it inside themselves and WANT in themselves to change the trait(s) with more than just words, but a strong evidential proof of consecutive change.

CONCLUSION

If you have made it this far in your reading I say, “God bless you”. Divorce is more common than a life long marriage of happiness in the world today. Marriage for the majority is left up to us to judge on who we want to marry. I am not speaking for you, but the human factor of making mistakes is very high in all of us including marriage. You will marry for looks, career/life goals, or a mix of looks and personality/intelligence. The gamble is in all of them, but you can change them from high risk, medium risk to low risk. For some it is too late the demonic selfishness underneath the skin has trapped people into a marriage that maybe your parents or your friend’s parents.

Marriage will make you, break you, or imprison you for a life of servitude as caretaker. Make your list, see your list with understanding, and hang on tight to it for the greater than Hollywood stars you will meet in life. The “make you” is happiness, the “break you” is sadness, and the “imprison you” is darkness. Do you really want to haphazardly roll the dice on someone for your life?

I have been a little tough in this article. Marriage retreats, marriage counselors, marriage advisers, marriage self helps are all well and good, but there are some things that man has no power to change no matter how cotton candy they try to pump you up the truth is sometimes only in God’s hands. Be wise before you ask or accept the proposal of marriage.

You have to fight for your own happiness with perception and understanding as wisdom guides your footsteps of commitment.

I Want To Die

Hi! I am glad you stopped by to read “I Want To Die“. This is something that has crossed everyone’s mind sometime in their life. You are not alone. For some the thought of death was a flash and for others it became a returning subject to think about. To die has a closure and an ending sound to it and to live has an ongoing never-ending sound to it. One of them implies freedom and the other implies torture. I am glad you are here, now reading this because I don’t want you to be deceived anymore.

I was deceived and I don’t want you to make a decision based on lies. Death has many people thinking that this is an ending to all the things they are facing. As you read these words they are passing through the physical tunnel of your eyes into your eternal spirit inside your body. This is the real you no matter what you look like on the outside. Your eyes are only a temporary tunnel of sight to your eternal spirit behind them. This is the time to find the real you. Here comes one factual truth that your body is the only fleshly shell that can die everything else about you will remain forever. I hope this is not disappointing, but the real you will exist forever. A good question to ask at this time is do “I Want To Die” right now taking with me the bad things inside with me forever or do I want to find a way to make the bad things die and I live on free? The real you that is focused on these words will not die. I know and see my spirit is speaking to your spirit through these words, but a greater than both of us is here between us. He is the one that gave us our eternal spirits. He wanted me to know and you that death will only come to the body that is housing us. Your body will return to the dust of the earth eventually, but you – your spirit will continue forever in the state you left this world for better or worse.

Your spirit can face a type of death matching it as an eternal death, but it is more like a still living/existing death because you, your spirit is made of eternal substance and does not cease to exist like the body. Your spirit that will never die is being fed right now through your eyes and other senses. Your skin feeds your spirit the feelings of touching things or things touching you. Your ears captures the sounds around you feeding them to your spirit. Your mouth feeds your spirit the different tastes that enter it. Your nose is the tunnel funneling the different odors it smells to your spirit. Your spirit is the eternal storage of you. You are a living eternal spirit book that will always contain who you are inside of it (Ps. 40:7, Heb. 10:7 examples).

This may be a time to slow down and think about what is written on the pages of your spirit book ignoring for now your physical body. I know your spirit is full of things forced upon your pages by the things out of your control and some things you purposely did in life causing them to be recorded in you whether good or bad. I want you to know you are in control of your spiritual book. You do have the power to decide how things are written inside of you and the way they are to be understood. Your spirit is diary with easily called upon memories of pictures, videos, sounds, and words from the earliest time to the present of things you have collected. You can be the narrator of your own life or outside influences can plant their desires like a puppet on their string of what they want to see you do. “I Want To Die” is not the desire you were first-born with, but later on things of this life push it upon you.

Death in this world will only disconnect you from the earth, which may seem to be enough, but it will not disconnect your spirit from the spirit world. You will still exist forever with what you did here still inside you – your works and others. Even though you are in spirit form after leaving this world you will still see, hear, talk, feel, taste, and touch directly to your eternal (unchangeable) spirit. Your body is the temporary vehicle of this world by which your eternal spirit absorbs the data from. You and I see everyday how the bodies are temporary from the young to the growing older. I have seen in the elderly the young fire of their spirit behind their aging eyes longing to get out and do the things they once did when they were young. Your spirit is the eternal vehicle to God’s realm, but only when released by death to the physical body or when He comes a second time to this earth to gather us home.

DIFFERENT STAGES OF DEATH

You may still feel like death is the answer to be finally rid of this world. It will pass you from this world sending you to the next, but you will be taking what is in you with you in the present with no second chances of release. There are two different kinds of deaths you and I will face. Your fleshly body can physically die returning to the earth ceasing to exist in time, but your spirit is released into the spirit world where there is no time going straight to the place your spirit fits. Your body will cease to exist like ashes blown out of sight by the wind, but your spirit, the real you, will fly towards the eternal place that matches the condition of your spirit when you left this world. Do “I Want To Die” taking with me want is inside me right now? You will take this world with you stored inside your unchanged spirit into the spirit world. Your solid existence will now be in your spirit there will be no longer a need of accumulating anything from seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, and smelling directly anymore for you are now eternally unchangeable like the angels. You will still be you without your earthly body.

You can decide right now to stop others from writing and influencing things written in your book of your spirit life. The world can do things to your body, but you have the power to lock your mind, heart, and soul on the inside to be what you want it to be. You are a child of God and you have His power to make free will choices no matter the level of evil against you. In the Bible there is a remarkable passage about a man who somehow allowed a legion of evil things to enter into the pages taking over the control of his spirit book inside him. It was clear to me he did not want to die in the present state he was in with those evil spirits. No matter how much they pushed him day and night to cut himself he would still not give into “I Want To Die“. When Jesus with God on the inside came near to him the tormented man made the choice to take his body full of those legions of evil spirits to face Almighty God. The man forced the things of this world to let go of his spiritual pen and gained the freedom to start writing in his own desires in his spirit book (Mark 5:6-13). I want you to read this passage yourself with your own spiritual eyes drinking in how you can live above the thoughts of “I Want To Die“. Allow the loneliness to be chased away.

This second death is not a ceasing to exist death, a going to sleep no consciousness, but a death of separation. We have experienced a death of separation from loved ones, pets, or other things in this life feeling the pain of sorrow and loss. This is as close to touching with understanding the second death of our spirit while still in this world. If you experience the second death you, your spirit, will be separated into a place that is considered to be death forever. The body is like a pencil that can be erased and your spirit is like a permanent magic marker that cannot be erased. The hurt, pain, sorrow, tears, and torment will be in your spirit which is eternal making the separation of suffering eternal in you (Lu. 16:23-31). This is the second death of separation and not a ceasing of existence or a sleep of no consciousness. You will be still alive never to sleep again, but you are separated to another eternal place worse than this temporary world you left. The bad things, the evil things, and horrors of this earth has no comparison to living eternally with the evil in the second death.

This earth is temporary and you can still fight for change, but the second death of the spirit is already a lost battle with no more chances to fight for change. What you have stored inside you now that makes you want to die is in a temporary phase. You do have a chance. Your flesh is trying to convince your spirit there is no way out other than dying. It is time for you to take hold of that which is inside you pulling it out of your book of your life and make it dead to your spirit, but you cannot do it alone completely.

You want to turn off the things inside your mind. You want them to go away. You want them to stop tormenting you. You just want some peace. You have tried drinking them away, but finding the fix is only temporary. The troubles are there waiting for you when the drinking has worn off. You are back to wishing for it to go away with the physical pains of the aftermath of drinking. Your frustration is now twice as much on your shoulders. You’re thinking if I could only stay drunk it would never return to torture me, but the money is not there to maintain that solution. The nowhere to go feeling opens the door to “I want to Die“.

The liquid of relaxation and other things that flows into your body is a feeling of a fix, but it is only a blanket pulled over your spirit hiding from your sight what is still there. The problems seem to go far away, but to return to the foot of your bed or in your front door. Your flesh was the intoxicated blanket and your spirit was the hiding child underneath. We have these adult like bodies carrying a spirit child inside them with a need of a more permanent fix. This is where death becomes a salesman selling the lies of a permanent solution or the only way out. Most do not want to admit it, but our child like spirit is desperate for pure true love beyond this world to engulf us that we can trust whole heartily.

How can I make it stop? I don’t feel like I have the ability to make it stop. I feel like I am totally surrounded with nowhere to go and with no one to turn to. No one sees my pain and suffering. They can only see my outside and when I try to share what is on the inside they don’t care. There is nothing, no one, no where that can help me. These are just a few things that gather around us, locking hands, and trying to block our view past them. I will agree with you. We all need more than ourselves and others to help us overcome the “I Want To Die” feeling. Somebody please help me.

The man I mentioned earlier whose spirit was surrounded by bad spirits voicing their desires all around him did the one thing that we all can do. They were polluting his soul. If we can get ourselves to the feet of Jesus. He is that someone greater than ourselves and others to help us overcome the “I Want To Die” thoughts and feelings. The man could not personally handle those evil spirits just like we feel overwhelmed, but he did not have to handle them by himself. He ran his body full of those dark evil thoughts and spirits down to the feet of Jesus who was full of God as God handled, Spirit to spirits, the sweet releasing freedom from the grip of darkness.

That is great for him, but how do I get to the feet of Jesus he is in heaven? Start speaking his name, Jesus, and pouring out what is written on your pages of your spirit to him. If you go after him like that man you will start to feel his presences fill the air about you. You will feel a powerful goose bump presences of light flowing over you and embracing you. Take all those bad things in your spirit book and tell him you don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore in the pages of your life. What you are doing is taking back your spirit book from the “I Want To Die” into your hands, turning around with it, and handing it to Jesus to help start writing good things in a new chapter of your life. This is the first step of your freedom. While you are saying his name, Jesus, and his presences is upon you, go past the first step of surrendering your body into surrendering your spirit to him. This is the power we all need on the inside to overcome the things on the outside removing the being alone and the relying on of others. Seeking Him first and His kingdom all these other things will be added unto you (Mtt. 6:33). You are headed towards the second birth that will save you from the second death while aiding you along through this life.

You and I need the right power inside of us to overcome and not be so dependent on others. The man had the legion of evil spirits trying to hold him hostage to their power. Jesus, the man, had the fullness of God in him bodily (Col. 2:9) showing him the free choices of the things in this life that he could choose. We all stand in this doorway of either having the voices of this world telling us what to do or we have God as our roommate showing us the right way. Don’t be alone with the wrong things talking into your ears. What do you have inside of you right now at this moment?

I called out to him, Jesus. I handed him my spirit book of eternal pages that could only be erased by his eternal Spirit because there is no power outside of him that can fix our spirit book inside of us. The world cannot erase it for it is written on eternal pages of a spirit. The devil cannot erase it because he is not the Creator, but a creation. I cannot erase it because I, too am just a creation and not God. I told him about those pages of torment and sins in my life repenting of never wanting to have anything to do with them again. He took my repentance and my spirit book into himself, erasing them with His blood through his name in water baptism (Acts 2:38). I surrendered in complete trust my spirit feeling him all over me then going inside of me deep into where my spirit was with a joy unspeakable embracing my heart, flowing upward and outward with His Spirit speaking the joy and praises in another language I did not learn helping me to express the fullness of His glory that the flesh of man cannot express, but by His Spirit.

Now, the “I Want To Die” is under the right understanding and the right control. Death from this life is still going to happen, but under the right control and the right timing with God inside. No longer do the voices of this world have the power to push you to die in a sinful condition that the second death of your spirit will send you to the eternal place of torment, but you can have a life that when you do die you go past the second death’s door straight into eternal Life’s door. Take back what rightfully belongs to you.

“I” still “Want To Die“, but to die the right death. You mean there is a right death as opposed to a wrong death? Yes, there is a right and wrong death. The wrong death is what we spoke of earlier dying with our spirit book full of bad and evil things. The right death is dying daily to those wrong things that want to enter into our spirit book after we have been born again. Our eternal pages of sin were erased by the blood eraser of Jesus Christ and He gave us His Spirit to guide us into all truth writing our eternal pages with the right things.

This is what I want you to be able to say with the authority of God backing you. “I Want To Die” the right death no longer living this life with my own or this world’s understandings, but by Jesus Christ who lives inside of me. The life that I now live in this body, I want to live by the faith, power, and guidance of Jesus Christ, who loved me and gave himself for me (Gal. 2:20, Ro. 8:14).

I, now, know that “I Want To Die” so that Jesus might live in me for I know when He lives in me the things written into my eternal pages has the greatest editor filtering the lies and deceptions of this world and the spirits that dwells in it. May you have the light of God inside your eyes and ears of your spirit leading you and guiding you with a story that all of heaven will long to hear.

Where Can I Go

“Where Can I Go” has so many different sides to it. You can be suffering physical pain with a despairing cry inside of “Where Can I Go?” You can be going through a relationship breakup with tears inside all the while you have this sinking feeling of “Where Can I Go?” You can be faced with all the voices and the words they piled upon you pushing you to be something that you just need time to sort things out with the pressure of “Where Can I Go?” A dead-end is a place where there are no other options that could cause you to think “Where Can I Go“.

HAVE YOUR EVER EXPERIENCED

Walking along a path in the woods passing by different sizes and types of trees with various heights of vegetation on each side reaching from your ankles to your knees and you come to a place where you can go no further and your mind is busy looking for the answer to “Where Can I Go?“.

You are out with family and friends at a shopping mall, ball game, concert, and any other large crowd you may remember. You and those with you are completely surrounded by other people. As you are moving along a separation occurs whether it was from others walking faster than you or the pressing crowd separates you. You are standing there in a pressing crowd of people wondering where those you know have gone. You cannot see them or hear them. Your realize you are alone with a crowd of people completely around you. You think “Where Can I Go” with no sound in reply as your mind is totally blank.

Out on the bike you are riding along enjoying the freedom to ride. You get an exploring spirit turning down this way and that way as the wind blows past your face. The rolling along on your bike has a mesmerizing feeling as you continue to explore. You make another turn to see what is down this way finding a dead-end with like an ocean wave of a disappointing feeling rolling in upon you. You realize you have been going forward all this time with no turning back or back tracking. At this dead-end you are looking with searching eyes of “Where Can I Go” because right beside that thought is “I don’t want to go back, I want to keep going forward, I have come this far“.

Driving your vehicle in the direction you think will end up going where you are trying to reach only to find out that this road you just tried ends up being a cul-de-sac or a dead-end. “Where Can I Go” now to get back on the right route to my destination is all that your mind is searching. Sitting in your vehicle trying to get somewhere with no answer to “Where Can I Go” is a bad feeling especially if it is a dependency and really important to be there situation.

Relationships from boyfriend/girlfriend, going steady, engaged to be married, and marriage are deep-rooted in our hearts, minds, and even some our souls. We bond with another person in such a way that we have concluded they complete us. They are the answer to you physically and spiritually. When the sour, bitterness, anger, lack of understanding, confusion, jealousy, envy enters between you and them the “Where Can I Go” painfully takes over your entire system with division leaving you in darkness of what seems to an engulfing abyss of emotions. This is one of the hardest times in life facing the breakups, the deceptions, and the betrayals leaving the aftermath of “Where Can I Go” weighing you down.

Some have set out on a quest in life journeying for answers longing for satisfaction. A strong desire of ‘I want to know‘ and ‘I want to understand‘, and ‘I want to see with my own eyes‘ embeds itself deep into their spirit causing a daily hunger and thirst. The days come and go increasing into weeks, months, and then years without finding that satisfying answer. Along life’s journey you accumulate fragments that are alright with you, but they don’t fit together in a wholesome way only to come close to feeding the hunger inside. The “Where Can I Go” drives some into a place they wake up doing a morning routine, work a routine shift, and go home to the routine evening waiting for the cycle to repeat while the hunger and thirst sleeps inside their shell. You are physically moving every day, speaking words in correct response to those you encounter, and doing the functions expected of you all the while you are an empty shell because there is no completion to the inside you no one sees.

PASSAGE OF TIME

Passage of time is something we all face. Time is controlled by no one in this life. Time is constantly in motion going forward. Each second leaves the present and goes into the past. The seconds of our life piles up into minutes. Minutes quickly add together forming into hours. The days, weeks, months, and years from where we stand looking back have moved on to a place we can never change. Our memory only goes back into the past so far and then its a place ‘I don’t remember‘ anymore.

As little children we looked up to the towering people around us. They pick us up with such ease and power that our eyes would light up with excitement. We would watch these people of giants come and go on a daily basis. Sometimes they would bring back food, drinks, clothing, shoes, and other things. Our looking up to them with time becomes a shorter distance. They were not as far away in heights was they were before. Time was ticking by as an unnoticed growth in our body was occurring beneath our own nose while the curiosity of our minds was busy on a quest of life. The accumulation of experiences started to pile up in our storage rooms of life. We were slowly entering into their world were the other giant adults gathered.

We have our childhood memories, teenage memories, young adult memories, and adult memories to call upon anytime for the moments we faced that coming to a dead in life wondering “Where Can I Go” from here. The bad pranks, heart breaks of relationships, the lies, the highs, and the lows coming down upon us like the four seasons. We did not realize the shell of doing the morning routine, work routine, and evening routine we saw in the adults of our childhood days had crept in upon us putting our hunger and thirst to sleep inside us. We became them as they were us once upon a time.

We all have got into the boat of life from the shores of infancy riding towards the waves of time. As we watch ourselves getting farther from the shore of our beginnings. We turn around in this boat of time seeing the horizon not realizing the rut of daily routines were physically being done while our spirit sleeps the sleep of death. We have gone through the storms of being tossed around, the rain pouring down on us, warm sunshine, and the quiet calm times of life. We wake inside the boat being moved by the ocean currents and winds of time beyond our control finding ourselves changing from the little child into the adults around us. We were the children at the shore and now we are the adult captains of our own ships in the ocean of life wondering “Where Can I Go” to fill this empty void. Where did time go?

Simon was a little boy watching his father Jonah happily come home and sadly leave for work every day. When Simon grew older he could go with his dad to work learning his father’s trade and skills. He and his brother would watch as time altered their dad into an aging man. They would step up into their dad’s place as time aged them into young strong adults. Something was missing though their morning routine, their working routine, and their evening routine ran smoothly. They had that feeling there was something more to life than being the physical shells repeating the same functions over and over each day.

As you read this can you see yourself waking up doing a certain physical thing each time, going to work with the like same functions for the same results, and going home with the mind-set of getting things done for the next round? Are you walking and talking with the set parameters of what is considered a normal response keeping people around you pacified? Your spirit is hungry and thirsty while your outward shell is maintaining a sustainable life. What life is being sustained here? Your physical body is aging. You know the truth is no one can stop the body from aging no matter how many products you buy. The shell that holds your spirit will one day stop doing the routines of daily functions, but your spirit is the storehouse of all the things done in your lifetime. Your spirit is a living book that you and others write onto the pages of your eternal life.

The question of “Where Can I Go” will happen for the physical things of this life, but the most important part for this question should be for the non-physical things of this life. We will face the dead-end roads and the bad relationships of this life with physical tears, pains of the heart, and disappointments. Our body will do what needs to be done to sustain itself in this life, but more so our spirit that will keep things beyond the sustainment of this world is far more important. Our physical shell takes into itself the daily routines to continually function, but our spirit on the inside stores the thoughts and actions of those deeds forever (Ps. 40:7, Heb. 10:7).

Our is spirit is an eternal recording device along with the personality it chooses to be. There is a need to ask “Where Can I Go” to help my spirit because the body will return to the dust of the earth releasing the spirit within for its book to be read for the purpose of deciding the location it will stay forever (Eccl. 12:7). Our born physical fleshly body from infancy to childhood to a teenager, a young adult, adulthood, and to the aging elder years is going to release our spirit one day. Just like time that you, I and no one else can control our body will have to let go of our spirit releasing it totally. After this there will be no “Where Can I Go” because the ability to change has left from the temporary physical state of what is being written into the completely finished writing final eternal state. In our body second chances exist after leaving our body there is no more chances.

You and I are in the place where the question of “Where Can I Go” is still an option. We are still inside this time zone to change direction when there is no more roads. After your body and my body gives up to a physical death leaving this time zone our spirit drivers of those bodies go into the place that time and changing directions is no more. What our spirit has recorded is final at this point. Years ago I caught parts of a movie called “Final Fantasy: Spirits Within” (2001) though the majority of it is made up there are parts of a spirit leaving a body that is very real. Also, another interesting movie years ago was “Ghost” (1990), which again mostly made up, but the part of the character at first wanting revenge from the spirit side witnessing the final judgments of another spirit changed him from wanting to see any other spirit sent to the bad place in their final judgment. We will leave these bodies whether we like it or not, but “Where Can I Go” needs to be answered now because we do not know the day nor the hour it is time for us to leave this world. Once we are gone it cannot be changed. We have left our temporary state and have entered our eternal state.

While we are in this physical shell doing our morning routines, work routines, and evening routines there is a chance to answer for our spirit the question of “Where Can I Go” and give the body of this world a life to record good things into our spirit all the way up to the final departure. Every day we are exchanging our life in place of things accountable to us at the end of time.

Simon and his brother knew there were more to this life than their repeated sustaining routines for their families and their physical bodies. One day in the middle of their work routine a man walking by the sea called out to them while they were doing their jobs as fishermen and said to them “Come, follow me and I will send you out to fish for people.” (Mark 1:16-17). Out of curiosity it would not hurt them to take a break to see for themselves and understand what he was talking about. They completely understood how to fish for fish because their physical shells could probably do it in their sleep, but going out fishing for people was a different direction than what they were accustom. They were testing the question of “Where Can I Go” when they started following Jesus.

The answer to ‘there is more to this life‘ than the mundane routines and “Where Can I Go” came quickly after following Jesus. He took them into a church and began teaching. His teachings were not like the other teachers. They too were like shells of routine in their teachings going through the motions. Jesus was not a shell of dried up routine teaching he had authority rising up out of his mouth, which stirred up an evil spirit from the no time zone side (spirit realm). The evil spirit using the fleshly voice of a man who had given up on this life asked Jesus what he wanted with him, have you come to destroy me, and he knew he was the Holy One of God. Simon and the other people could see Jesus and this man talking to each other, but they could not see the controlling evil spirit. When Jesus said to the evil spirit to be quiet and come out of him Simon and the people saw the physical shell of a man become violent, shrieking loudly, and then going calm. Everyone was amazed at the spoken power this man had over the evil spirit. Now, Simon following out of curiosity and wanting to find the answer to “Where Can I Go” for the things more to this life just saw the man who said to him from the shores he would send him out to fish for people command an evil spirit. (Mark 1:21-27).

If you and I were Simon or his brother and witnessed this would you not be curious to see the end of this road? Is this person for real or not? Would you not want to watch and listen before completely accepting him as for real or finding out if he was fake to reject and go home to the morning, work, and evening routine? They know “Where Can I Go” is to follow this man for he offers things no other person has ever offered.

There are so many events that happened to Simon and his brother Andrew it would be too much in this one reading to cover. I will quickly touch on a few more. Jesus asked Simon, known as Peter, who do you say that I am? Peter answered him, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus told Peter the source of his understanding, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.” again the spirit realm (Mtt. 16:16-19) Simon Peter now has a physical shell that is alive inside to where he should go for the answers in life tapping into the rivers of living water flowing inside his spirit. He is no longer a shell of sustaining routine of not knowing “Where Can I Go“. Another time people were leaving Jesus because his words were to hard for them to accept. Jesus turns to Simon Peter asking him did he want to leave also? Simon Peter answered, ‘You have the words of eternal life. Lord, to whom shall we go? You are the Holy One of God.‘ (Jn. 6:68, 69). Simon had found the total answer to “Where Can I Go” satisfying his soul.

You wake up each day starting your morning routine, do your work routine, and return to the evening routine as another day of time passes aging your body closer to shutting down date while your spirit records your words and actions onto eternal pages written of your life. This is an extremely sobering statement of life. All the people in the world far away or right by your side cannot fill this empty room made for God only. Your body has a time limit on it that no one can control, but you can control what is going into your spirit for all eternity.

If you could store things to be preserved eternally what would they be? The things we store eternally in our spirit will be judged by our eternal Father of its worthiness to be allowed or not into His kingdom. Simon Peter found what completely satisfies his soul and God. Simon came to understand of being born again of water and of spirit (Acts 2:38) gave him a place to go to fill his life with faith, goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, mutual affection, and love was more productive to this life and the life to come (2 Pe. 1:5-15). His body was a tent temporarily housing his spirit that will one day leave it to search no more for the answer of “Where Can I Go“.

2 Cor. 5:1-11 “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience.” NIV.